Non-Preview Preview - Michigan

The obligatory blog preview of the upcoming season, Sarah-style (i.e., the style for someone too lazy to preview teams properly).

Player Name Least Likely to Scare People: Bobby Centlivre. It means 100 books in French. Nothing scary about that (unless you’re a Michigan kinesiology major).

Obligatory Song for the Tailgate Mix: In honor of Appalachian State, I will go with a song best remembered for its video featuring an animated cat/cat-resembling creature:

Sport Michigan Sucked At Last Year: Women’s soccer, with a 3-9-6 record. This record includes such exciting games as a 0-0 tie with Notre Dame. And yet, people still try to convince me that soccer is not boring. To quote King of the Hill, “I’d rather be on a losing football team than a winning soccer team any day.”

If You Come Here, You Can Major In: Kinesiology! Okay, that’s too easy, even for me. How about Jazz and Contemplative Studies? I have visions of people smoking weed, listening to jazz, and having profound thoughts, all for credit (obviously). I also assume that most of those profound thoughts have to do with the complete and utter lack of discipline in the kinesiology department.

Neighbor of Mine Michigan Most Resembles: The dude with the Mustang. It’s his new baby, and he washes the thing at least twice a week. If anything you say or do can be construed as an insult to the Mustang (such as wearing a Corvette tank top out to your own car while he happens to be washing his car), you will get an earful at an abnormally loud level about the superiority of the Mustang to every other car in the world – except some classic Mustang that his dad used to drive. I avoid Mustang dude at all costs.

Mustang = Rich Rodriguez. Old Mustang = Bo Schembechler. It’s an uncanny resemblance, right down to the over-reaction at any perceived slight.

Random Conclusion Unrelated to the Game Itself: This is still one of my all time favorite commercials. Does it have anything to do with Notre Dame? Nope. Do I care? Nope.

Non-Preview Preview - San Diego State

The obligatory blog preview of the upcoming season, Sarah-style (i.e., the style for someone too lazy to preview teams properly).

Player Name Least Likely to Scare People: Doug Deakin. Different spelling, but the idea is there – a deacon is not going to scare anyone (even if you add ‘demon’ to the front. Take that, Wake Forest!).

Obligatory Song for the Tailgate Mix: Anytime you have a team from California, there are a large number of possible songs. But then, thinking back to my childhood, an obvious choice came to mind. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Rockapella’s greatest hit, Where in the World Is Carmen San Diego:

Sport San Diego State Sucked At Last Year: Women’s cross country, I’m looking at you and your 32-87 overall record (all while ignoring a certain football team’s lower winning percentage – yay denial!). However, the cross country team does get bonus points for Volunteer Assistant Coach Richard Fox, who is both a volunteer coach and a patrol officer with the San Diego Police Department.

If You Come Here, You Can Major In: Gerontology! Per the San Diego State Course Catalog:

Gerontological training and research is an important link in meeting the social, physical, and psychological needs of the elderly. Students of gerontology benefit through the personal understanding of their own aging process.

I hate to break it to the gerontology majors, but given a few years out of college, and they will discover the aging process through personal experience, starting with a liver that no longer works as well when given copious amounts of alcohol.

Neighbor of Mine San Diego State Most Resembles: The really nice girl who introduced herself the first day or two that I moved in. That was nice of her, and when I first lived here, I thought it was really great that there was someone who seemed cool here. I imagined that we would watch Sex and the City and gossip about the boys we were dating and go out for Fajita-Rita Mondays at Chili’s. Then I totally forgot about her. Really, I don’t even know if she still lives here.

Similarly, San Diego State is that school right away on the schedule that ND fans will convince themselves is cooler than they really are. We’re going to go through summer – especially those last few football crazed weeks – slightly obsessed with San Diego State, even though nothing ever comes of the relationship, except that one initial meeting.

Random Conclusion Unrelated to the Game Itself: The Notre Dame Fighting Doberman Pinscher Genitalias say, "Stay classy, San Diego":