Daily ND Five - August 20, 2008

The very late in the morning edition of the Daily ND Five, as sleeping in and getting my apartment ready for a showing got in the way of getting this taken care of.

One: Skywriting over at The Blue-Gray Sky, including this bit on the short-lived, but big, rumor of Darrin Walls transferring to Pitt:

The whole need to clarify the situation arose when the sight of Darrin's father at a Pitt practice -- he's friends with the coaching staff -- turned into an internet wildfire rumor of Darrin being at practice and considering a transfer. The good news is that he's not planning on any transfer and the even better news is that the family expects Darrin to return for the spring 2009 semester.

Ah, the internet, where the barest hint of anything will be a big deal within moments. (The Blue-Gray Sky)

Two: Thoughts on practice from yesterday:

Still impressed, too, with Armando Allen's footwork. Going through the high steps after the gauntlet, he hardly ever seems to hit a rope, which usually means he has good skill at placing his feet.

No word on whether there was any hugging and love yesterday, as there was on Monday. (Irish Insights)

Three: More thoughts on practice yesterday:

And here's something I've never seen during my years covering this team: The trainer calling out one of the players. Freshman defensive end Sean Cwynar wasn't participating fully in the swivel drill, but head athletic trainer Jim Russ shouted across the field: "You can do that! Quit feeling sorry for yourself! Quit being a baby!" That'll get your attention.

I'm not sure if the trainer calling out a player is a good thing or a bad thing. (eTruth)

Four: They aren't our first opponent, but they come up quickly. A bit on the bad luck up at Michigan:

And perhaps seeing the writing on the wall in regards to the season, running back Kevin Grady had a bit too much to drunk earlier in the summer, and has plead guilty to drunk driving. MGo linked to a report about the arrest, and Grady was apparently not just casually drinking and out for a spin, but drunk to the tune of "Thompson said he asked for a number between 12 and 14, and Grady answered '15.'" Of course, you could just potentially say that a sober Wolverine couldn't correctly answer that question. (Again, zing! On fire!)

Some people would feel bad about these bad things happening at Michigan. I am not one of those people. Also, some info on a couple other opponents there. (Rakes of Mallow)

Five: Looking at some of the other opponents, including USC:

With less than two weeks before the Aug. 30 opener against Virginia, the quarterback derby is moving into a pivotal stretch. Aaron Corp and Mitch Mustain are competing to possibly replace injured starter Mark Sanchez, while Sanchez is working to return in time to play against the Cavaliers.

Let me just come out and say it: it's great not to have quarterback issues this year. (Irish Band of Brothers)

Daily ND Five - August 19, 2008

For someone who is moving later this week, my apartment is in surprisingly good order. In other words, I really need to get more packed and watch less television. On the plus side, I managed to wake up at a regular hour (probably because I fell asleep on the couch watching television).

One: Observations on yesterday's practice:

When the team met at midfield for stretching, James Aldridge and Kyle McCarthy met at midfield and hugged. Don't know what that was about.

It's about the love. Or something like that. (Irish Insights)

Two: Less than three weeks to go until the game! A preview of San Diego State that will make you feel good for the first game of the year:

The defense has a slew of starters remaining, but it's debatable whether that is a good thing considering the Swiss cheese-like performance they turned in last season. If trends continue from last season, it'll be a blessing for the much beleaguered Irish offensive line, since the Aztecs ranked 107^th in the country last year in sacks, registering only 1.25 per game.

It's getting me excited - I think I need to start thinking about getting a parking permit for tailgating. (Rakes of Mallow)

Three: Some love for Golden Tate:

The problem for the converted running back was he really only knew one route – the go route. He could use his tremendous speed to run down the field and get behind a defense but that was about it.

Perhaps Tate and Devin Hester can exchange notes on this topic. (UHND.com)

Four: TAH-NOO-TAH BLITZ:

Soon after Tenuta arrived on the Notre Dame campus, he installed the blitzing scheme he used at Georgia Tech. The defense puts pressure on every snap to force chaos and errors.

This whole Daily ND Five is firing me up majorly. (ESPN.com)

Five: Weekend news from Notre Dame's opponents. This on USC's Joe McKnight:

McKnight suffered a hyperextended elbow in the Trojans' scrimmage at the Coliseum the night before Coach Pete Carroll said. McKnight's latest mishap came only a few days after he injured two fingers, including a slight fracture at the tip of one, when a teammate accidentally closed a dormitory door on McKnight's right hand.

Don't forget the "jock itch" that McKnight suffered from prior to both of these other injuries (Irish Band of Brothers)

Daily ND Five - August 18, 2008

A little late this morning, as it is my week off before I start working again. And when I can sleep in, I will sleep in. In other words? Don't expect to see the Daily ND Five early this week.

One: Playing a lot of underclassmen may not be the worst thing that has ever happened to Notre Dame:

And Notre Dame is actually getting younger, because the sophomores now have to look over their shoulders. Gary Gray has a great shot of playing, but here comes Blanton, a cocky and talented frosh. Ragone's in the driver's seat at tight tend, but Rudy is impressing the hell out of everyone.

More there, plus a lot of comment thread worth reading. (The Rock Report)

Two: Some highlights from Coach Weis's media session. My favorite is this:

Speaking of quarterbacks, Weis said Nate Montana "could come in and finish a game for us if he needed to, which he just might do."

I assume that was meant for a laugh, but I do love the thought of a Montana coming in to finish a game. (eTruth)

Three: Another preview of the Notre Dame season. Here's the take on Boston College:

There was a huge controversy this week that dominated talk radio. The argument was whether it was poor sportsmanship for Coach Weis to keep his first string in the entire game, and to go for two in the final play of the game, thus ensuring the Irish would have sole possession of the most lopsided game ever in college football history.

Prediction: 223-0 Notre Dame

Color me highly amused. (Domer Law Blog)

Four: Satire works when it has a ring of truth:

Former American women's gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi will be joining Tom Hammond and Pat Haden in the booth, providing the unrelenting enthusiasm and unfiltered partisanship that Notre Dame fans appreciate, all bundled in a loveable old man with a great mustache and accent.

Oh, and Michael Phelps will be in the booth, too. (Rakes of Mallow)

Five: Leprechaun hunting in the South Bend area:

Whitton described spotting the bizarre, tiny magical humanoid creature in the very early hours of Saturday morning staggering out of a local drinking establishment, and the brief but harrowing firefight that ensued. In the end, magic or no magic, the pixie was no match for Whitton and Dyer's arsenal of modified assault rifles and body armor.

And here I thought leprechauns were more prevalent around Mobile. P.S. - I never get tired of that video. (The House Rock Built)

Daily ND Five - August 15, 2008

Today is my last day at my current job - if this seems at all distracted, that's the reason.

One: Just a reminder, Notre Dame has daily video of practice up on the official website. At this point, practice videos and the upcoming move are the only two things keeping me sane prior to real, actual college football games. (und.com)

Two: Another set of "Around Twenty Questions," this time with Golden Tate. Besides learning that Tate likes to fish, there is this:

II: What's the most crab legs you've eaten in a sitting?

GT: "Six or seven plates. Liked stacked up."

That's a lot of crab legs. I couldn't even make it through one plate of crab legs earlier this week. Then again, I am not a football player. (Irish Insights)

Three: Another loss from the junior class. This time, it's wide receiver Richard Jackson:

Jackson a native of Clermont, FL (East Ridge High School) was a highly sought after prospect in the 2006 recruiting class, when he ranked as the 87th best player on the USA today top 100 list. Jackson was also a first-team all-state selection in the talent-laden Florida class 6A division.

Jackson missed all of last season after breaking his wrist in the Blue-Gold game. (BlueandGold.com)

Four: A quick look at yesterday's practice:

One final absence to report: No. 60 was not at practice. That's right, Duval Kamara has his old No. 18 back, though not without some controversy, apparently.

Controversy involving a significant overnight weight loss. (eTruth)

Five: As this has to do with a Notre Dame opponent, I figure that it is worth posting:

That's right, folks, you read that correctly. Fully 25% of the Trojan football team has contracted a particularly ornery strain of jock itch, whose virulent epidemiology has left even Pete Carroll speechless, and I'm sure he's seen damned near every groin-related malady in his long tenure as a football coach.

The jokes right themselves. Which is probably why I can't come up with one. (NCAA Football Fanhouse)

Daily ND Five - August 14, 2008

For someone moving in a few days, I have packed surprisingly little. But I will definitely take care of the Daily ND Five. Much better idea than packing!

One: Bringing back some emotion to Notre Dame - both by the players and by the fans:

It has been a beautiful thing to watch as this team has pulled itself up from the dark abyss of 2007 and actually worked on being more physical and emotional out on the field.

The post is like a highlight reel of the off-season, in a good sense. (Subway Domer)

Two: Looking at some of our opponents during their respective fall camps. A tiny bit of these extensive previews, this is about the Michigan quarterback situation:

The team's quarterbacks continue to improve daily. An emphasis has been put on fundamentals due to each quarterback's limited collegiate experience, but the coaching staff is pleased with the breadth of the playbook that they have been able to handle.

Lots and lots more at Irish Band of Brothers to get you excited about the upcoming season (or scared about the upcoming season). (Irish Band of Brothers)

Three: Looking at the 2008 Notre Dame quarterbacks:

Last season was a long one for the young Clausen, who had been used to winning all of his athletic career, winning 4 state championships in high school. In his frosh campaign, Jimmy was sacked a whopping 27 times, more than twice as much as Brady Quinn was sacked in his freshman year.

Good stuff on all three quarterbacks. (Domer Law Blog)

Four: Notre Dame will be inviting back coaches and/or their families who won National Championships this season:

Holtz and Parseghian will be present, while approximately 20 Devine family members, 15 members of the Leahy family and six Rockne family members are expected to return for the weekend.

September 13th (also known as the date of the Michigan game) is the game celebrating the 20th anniversary of 1988 National Championship. (und.com)

Five: Around Twenty questions with Darrell "Flash" Gordon:

I still go on Notre Dame's campus and people still call me by Flash. When I hear people call me that name, I know it's a Notre Dame contact. I still get it today. But as time progressed, more folks called me by Darrell because they didn't understand my background. But when I'm around Notre Dame, I hear Flash.

My only problem here? Eight questions doesn't really qualify as "around twenty questions." I would have liked more - that's a good problem to have. (Irish Insights)

Daily ND Five - August 13, 2008

Already way behind this morning (so what else is new?). I'm hoping no one at work notices that I am gone, but, as my last day is Friday, there really isn't much they can do at this point. Now, on to the Five.

One: Wow, people were quite optimistic about last year's team. OC Domer takes a look at some rosy predictions from prior to the 2007 season from across the blog world:

Ah, memories! Times were simpler then. There certain things you could count on in this world. Like blocking, tackling, and beating Navy. But life is more complicated today.

Gosh, the good old days seem so far away. (OC Domer)

Two: A quick look back at the weekend of open practices:

Naturally, you have to avoid trying to go too far between the lines when consuming practice reports and massive amounts of coach-speak and spoon-fed cliches that come from the players in these settings. Everybody looks fine in practice, everybody's "just a little bit of confidence" away from having a big year. Even with that fully justified caveat, the "Dive Right In" philosophy is exactly where the Irish should be heading right now. No looking back, just charging straight forward. If nothing else, it beats the "throw it on the wall and see what sticks" style from a year ago.

I will definitely take the "Dive Right In" philosophy! (Section 29, Row48, Seat 10)

Three: Some thoughts on yesterday's open practice:

Ryan Burkhart has a strong, strong leg. He booted the ball into the end zone consistently both Sunday in the fan practice and again Tuesday during the media open practice. He'll be the kickoffs guy, no doubt.

I like the sounds of that. (Irish Insights)

Four: Then again, how much can we learn from a practice?

The Irish have 20 returning lettermen on offense and 16 on defense, but even that stat is deceiving. How valuable is experienced gained during lopsided losses in a 3-9 season? That answer, and others, will not be known until the Sept. 6 season opener against San Diego State -- and perhaps not even then.

Lots more questions marks follow and precede that one. (Post-Tribune)

Five: Lastly, not leastly, the final part in Classic Ground's look at the 1988 National Championship season:

Irish running back Mark Green remembers, “We had a ton of talent. It was a matter of putting yourself second. It was more important to me to help win a national championship with these guys at Notre Dame.” Frank Stams recalled, “That season was the most fun I ever had playing football.”

Part One is here, Part Two here. A highly recommended read. (Classic Ground)

Daily ND Five - August 12, 2008

The "Back To Drinking The Kool-Aid" Edition.

One: Some thoughts on why Notre Dame will be better this year:

Weis admitted that players were often scared to make mistakes which made the team uptight and drained all the emotion from their play. The payoff of Weis's decision to step back and encourage his team to show emotion was evident in the Blue Gold Game, where it actually looked like the kids were having fun and playing harder because of it. Notre Dame now looks like a team that wants to kick your ass and is going to talk it up and have fun doing it.

Gosh, Kool-Aid tastes great. (The Rock Report)

Two: Yet another preview that isn't so scary:

The first thing I noticed is that Notre Dame isn't facing a single receiver who cracked the thousand yard receiving mark last season. Even more striking, of the 27 starters listed here, only 9 had more receiving yards than John Carlson did on last year's NCAA-worst Irish offense.

More specifics on the wide receivers that Notre Dame will be facing this season here. (The Blue-Gray Sky)

Three: A look at yesterday's practice, which was open to the Notre Dame professors:

Briefly looking at the quarterbacks, it appears Dayne Crist has a higher release point than the rest of the quarterbacks, although it could be more deception since he's 6-4 while Jimmy Clausen is 6-3 and Evan Sharpley is 6-2. Neither Clausen nor Sharpley appear that tall, though.

Ah, the ol' height exaggeration. Nice. (Irish Insights)

Four: Part Three of Subway Domer's pre-season predictions, including some pre-game antics, including this bit about the Washington game:

The start of the game was delayed by over an hour as a chaotic set of events was set off when the newly unemployed Ty Willingham was found driving on the field with a pimped out Rolls Royce golf cart. As security chased him down Ty hit his NOS switch and gunned it towards Irish head coach Charlie Weis.

It just gets better from there. (Subway Domer)

Five: Some ND history - Part II of a look at the 1988 season contains this tidbit about life after the memorable Miami game:

For Pat Terrell, people still stop him on the street to congratulate him on the swatted-down 2-point conversion attempt: “There were fifty-nine thousand at that game that day…and I think every single one of them has told me over the…years…what they did or how they felt when I got that deflection. It gets kind of funny, but it still does mean a lot to me.”

More great thoughts here. (Classic Ground)

Daily ND Five - August 11, 2008

The "Making an Offer on a House Prevented Me From Posting Promised Updates" Edition. With an updated format to make up for the lack of promised posting, though!

One: Having drunk the post-press conference Kool-Aid, some sobering thoughts over at ND Nation:

The left side, particularly at tackle, is downright scary. Neither Paul Duncan nor backup Mike Turkovich is ideally suited for the position, but there is no one else available. Duncan does not have the requisite agility and footwork to neutralize opposing pass rushers, so he had better be able to yell, “Look out, Jimmy” at the appropriate times.

More things to help convince you that a loss against San Diego State is imminent here. (ND Nation - News and Views from the Board Ops)

Two: Some Sunday practice observations, including this tidbit on the grass:

Seeing the Notre Dame field up close, the new sod project seems to have taken well. The grass, unlike in previous years, is actually green now.

No word on the actual length (probably has something to do with USC being an away game this year). (Irish Insights)

Three: Some more thoughts on the open practice:

Weis got all over Golden Tate for not immediately running faster out of his stance on a deep ball thrown down the sideline. George West, David Grimes and Robbie Parris caught whatever was thrown to them. West had a chance to make a spectacular grab and Weis kidded him that catching it or not was the difference between him being on the front page of the sports page.

Lots more thoughts over there, some good, some not so good. (uhnd.com)

Four: An in-depth look at the scary special teams performance last year:

Notre Dame opponents averaged 10.25 touchbacks though the season last year. Notre Dame didn’t record a single touchback. That’s 10 times during the season that ND’s opponents didn’t have to worry about their opposition getting great field position. 10 times that ND opponents didn’t give their defenses craptastic circumstances. And 10 times ND didn’t do their own defense any favors.

Don't worry, it gets worse. (Her Loyal Sons)

Five: Lastly, not leastly, here is the link to all of the pre-season practice goodness, courtesy of Notre Dame. Only 26 days to go... (und.com)

Daily ND Five - August 8, 2008

The "Thanks To This Morning's Presser, I Am Drunk On The Kool-Aid (and P.S. - When Do the Weekly Press Conferences Start?)" Edition.

One: Even Coach Weis couldn't lay off of the Brett Favre issue at today's press conference. And who asked the question that involved Lee Corso? I could have done without that. (und.com)

Two: De-Fense Re-Cruit! De-Fense Re-Cruit! (The Rock Report)

Three: Predictions, part II, courtesy Subway Domer. (Subway Domer)

Four: More predictions, over at Her Loyal Sons. (Her Loyal Sons)

Five: Not predictions, but things to watch, from Domer Law Blog. (Domer Law Blog)

I have about half of an article done, that might see the light of day later today. If not today, over the weekend.

Daily ND Five - August 7, 2008

The "Please Tell Me I Don't Have to Hear Anything Else About Brett Favre EVER AGAIN" Edition.

One: A little Skywriting for you. (The Blue-Gray Sky)

Two: And also a little Classic 'Round the World. (Classic Ground)

Three: I try not to drink the Kool-Aid, but it's so darn tasty! (The Rock Report)

Four: Looking at Georgia's ranking in light of recent college football history - including some recent ND history. (College Football 360)

Five: Intriguing non-conference games - not surprisingly, Notre Dame makes a few appearances. (The Bleacher Report)

Daily ND Five - August 6, 2008

The "I'm Back From House Hunting In Another State" Edition.

One: Previewing the running backs. (The Blue-Gray Sky)

Two: If, like me, you didn't have the cash money to apply for football tickets, here's your chance to pick up some to various games. (und.com)

Three: Am I considering driving five hours to watch practice at Fan Appreciation Day? The answer to that is a definite yes. (und.com)

Four: The speculation about the Irish season does not end. (Chicago Sun-Times)

Five: The NCAA football schedule, helmet-ized for your pleasure. (Irish Round Table)

Daily ND Five - August 1, 2008

The "My Internet Is Working Again (Sort Of)" Edition.

One: Previewing this season's opposing quarterbacks. (The Blue-Gray Sky)

Two: Previewing the Notre Dame quarterbacks. (Rakes of Mallow)

Three: How about a preview of opposing running backs. (Irish Eyes)

Four: Continuing the timeless plays - Numbers six to three. (BlueandGold.com)

Five: Some of ND's annual rankings in The Princeton Review. (Irish Insights)

Daily ND Five - July 29, 2008

The "Hey, It's Shark Week!" Edition.

One: Timeless ND plays - Numbers 10-7. (BlueandGold.com)

Two: Ten out-of-conference games that would be great if they happened - including the actually happening ND-Washington game. (Fox Sports)

Three: Some more love for Chris Zorich. (und.com)

Four: Notre Dame - a team worth hating. (The Bleacher Report)

Five: It's all about hating today. (ESPN)

Daily ND Five - July 29, 2008

The "Up Early and Getting Things Done" Edition.

One: Timing - i.e., when we play them - for the final edition of The Case for Hope. (OC Domer)

Two: The expense of recruiting. Something I never thought about before. (South Bend Tribune)

Three: Another preview of Notre Dame. (The Sporting News)

Four: OK, I am not as upset as some about this scheduling tidbit, but it could be better. (Irish Band of Brothers)

Five: Because I can't leave it alone, guess who is hitting the links these days? (The Seattle Times - Husky Football Blog)

Daily ND Five - July 28, 2008

The "Nothing Related to a Certain Former ND Wide Receiver, Because I Am a White Sox Fan" edition.

One: Subway Domer's first part in a series of predictions for the games this season. (Subway Domer)

Two: Great nicknames in college football...look to Number One for a familiar group of men. (The Bleacher Report)

Three: A list of things to mention (or not to mention) when talking to fans of college football teams. Notre Dame is on there. (The Bleacher Report)

Four: An interview with Tony O'Hara/Roberts. (Post-Tribune)

Five: Robert Hughes is on this list of second year tailbacks to watch. (cfb360.com)

Man Shoots Lawn Mower

Ah, Wisconsin. Land of beer, cheese, and a seemingly endless array of people who manage to get themselves into situations that people elsewhere find amusing.

People such as this fellow:

According to the criminal complaint, Walendowski said he was angry because his Lawn Boy wouldn't start Wednesday morning. He told police quote, "I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want."

Really, though, who hasn't wanted to shoot something that wasn't working properly?

Daily ND Five - July 25, 2008

The "I need to get to work soon!" edition.

One: Updates on ND football players in the NFL. (The Blue-Gray Sky)

Two: I am not linking to the New York Times preview of Notre Dame, but I will link here, and you can read the rest of the article if you want. (Irish Insights)

Three: Some pre-season thoughts on where Gameday will be going - I miss Gameday! (The Bleacher Report)

Four: How about some pre-season thoughts on games to watch? (It's Insider content) (ESPN)

Five: I'm mostly posting this article on the cutting down of the trees because I am still upset that there will be no tailgating in these lots this year - they are all under construction. (South Bend Tribune)

Daily ND Five - July 24, 2008

The "I got caught up in work and an early meeting" edition.

One: Some more information on those pesky ads and the reporting of said ads. (The Rock Report)

Two: A day late, but a highly amusing look at some coaches on the hot seat (as opposed to those who are inevitably gone). P.S. - I want Fire Mark May updates! (Every Day Should Be Saturday)

Three: Speaking of Fire Mark May, here is something I love from the site. (Fire Mark May)

Four: September 20th as a do or die date for teams? (The Bleacher Report)

Five: How about a rebuttal to an article on Washington chances of beating Notre Dame? Someday, we shall give up this obsession...but that day is not today. (Irish Band of Brothers)

Daily ND Five - July 23, 2008

The "I have way too much work that I get paid for to be doing" edition.

One: Scheduling may make for a better season. (The Rock Report)

Two: A quick recap of the last few weeks. (Irish Insights)

Three: Keeping an eye out for potential violations of NCAA rules. (Chicago Sports.com)

Four: Prospects at Top Gun (not the one with Val Kilmer and Rick Rossovich - although the thought of Mr. Rossovich makes me want to watch that one when I should be working). (uhnd.com)

Five: Some info on the new football practice fields. (South Bend Tribune)

Daily ND Five - July 22, 2008

The "I'm off for a swim" edition.

One: Everytime I hear Pepper the Notre Dame Comeback Dolphin, I think of the Flipper theme song, with proper substitutions.

They call him Pepper, Pepper, faster than lightning,
No-one you see, is smarter than he,
And we know Pepper, lives in a world full of wonder,
Flying there-under, under the sea!

If only I could think of a word that rhymes with 'sea' that is appropriate to Notre Dame, it would totally work. (everydayshouldbesaturday.com)

Two: The return of Will Yeatman. (irishbandofbrothers.blogspot.com)

Three: Lou Holtz saved Chris Zorich from having to explain a spray paint incident to the Board of Bar Examiners later in life. (ncaafootball.fanhouse.com)

Four: Someone appears to have drunk the Kool-Aid, and for once, that person isn't me. (uhnd.com)

Five: Remembering a game that did not suck if you were sitting a mere few rows above the end zone where Samardzija scored, and what Coach Weis needs to do this year to not suck. (irishroundtable.com)

Random Hotness

Today's random hotness comes courtesy of College Football Live. Because I am starved for anything and everything college football, here are seven things that I took away from the first program of the season:

One: We start with a montage of intros from around the world, in many different languages. I'm guessing this is to remind us that the World Wide Leader is, indeed, world wide. Unlike, for example, college football.

Two: Brent Musburger introduced Jesse Palmer and Todd Blackledge, but not himself. That's not funny or anything, I just thought I would point out the little tidbit.

Three: Today (and, evidently, for many days to come), we are going to be subject to brackets to decide which helmet is the best in college sports. Is there really nothing better to do on this show than have a bracket to decide which helmet is the best in college sports?* Really? Perhaps actual analysis? Or do I ask too much of the WWL?

Four: During an interview with Tim Tebow, we learn that Tim Tebow is saving the world, one orphan at the time. Which we knew. We also learn that Tim Tebow loves him some Kenny Chesney. Could this end in a fight to the death between Tim Tebow and Peyton Manning for the love of a bald country superstar? A girl can only hope.

Five: Jim Tressel is on the show and he is not wearing a sweater vest! Avert your eyes! Also, just FYI, Jim Tressel does a horrible, horrible Inspector Clouseau impersonation. If ever you find yourself in a situation where Jim Tressel is going to start doing impersonations, consider yourself warned, and avert your ears.

Six: Random comment selected to appear on-screen during the Jim Tressel piece, which requires no comment: "I know the Bucks are going to go unbeaten and win the title. The only question is whether Beanie Wells wins the Heisman."

Seven: Georgia beat Miami in the first of the brackets to choose the best helmet in college football. Because I know you were totally on edge waiting for that result.

*Especially because the obvious answer is the helmet of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. No bracket needed to answer that question.

Non-Preview Preview - Michigan

The obligatory blog preview of the upcoming season, Sarah-style (i.e., the style for someone too lazy to preview teams properly).

Player Name Least Likely to Scare People: Bobby Centlivre. It means 100 books in French. Nothing scary about that (unless you’re a Michigan kinesiology major).

Obligatory Song for the Tailgate Mix: In honor of Appalachian State, I will go with a song best remembered for its video featuring an animated cat/cat-resembling creature:

Sport Michigan Sucked At Last Year: Women’s soccer, with a 3-9-6 record. This record includes such exciting games as a 0-0 tie with Notre Dame. And yet, people still try to convince me that soccer is not boring. To quote King of the Hill, “I’d rather be on a losing football team than a winning soccer team any day.”

If You Come Here, You Can Major In: Kinesiology! Okay, that’s too easy, even for me. How about Jazz and Contemplative Studies? I have visions of people smoking weed, listening to jazz, and having profound thoughts, all for credit (obviously). I also assume that most of those profound thoughts have to do with the complete and utter lack of discipline in the kinesiology department.

Neighbor of Mine Michigan Most Resembles: The dude with the Mustang. It’s his new baby, and he washes the thing at least twice a week. If anything you say or do can be construed as an insult to the Mustang (such as wearing a Corvette tank top out to your own car while he happens to be washing his car), you will get an earful at an abnormally loud level about the superiority of the Mustang to every other car in the world – except some classic Mustang that his dad used to drive. I avoid Mustang dude at all costs.

Mustang = Rich Rodriguez. Old Mustang = Bo Schembechler. It’s an uncanny resemblance, right down to the over-reaction at any perceived slight.

Random Conclusion Unrelated to the Game Itself: This is still one of my all time favorite commercials. Does it have anything to do with Notre Dame? Nope. Do I care? Nope.

Daily ND Five - July 21, 2008

The "I am seriously considering leaving work at 2:00 so that I can watch College Football Live, even though TiVo is already going to record it" edition. And another non-preview preview later (because, really, if I am thinking about leaving work at 2:00 to watch College Football Live before 9:00, it is going to happen).

One: Welcome to ND, Zach Martin! (chicagosports.com)

Two: Reiterating the obvious - the offensive line must improve. (bleacherreport.com)

Three: In anticipation of today's non-preview preview, how about some actual comparison between ND and Michigan. (rakesofmallow.com)

Four: Lessons in Manliness: Knute Rockne. (artofmanliness.com)

Five: Some video of Saturday's Hall of Fame induction. (wndu.com)

Daily ND Five - July 20, 2008

The "I went away for the day and it turned into a weekend" edition. On the plus side, lots of good stuff to pick from today.

One: Some love for Chris Zorich. (und.com)

Two: Sacks, sacks, and more sacks. Not a good thing. (bluegraysky.blogspot.com)

Three: I will take hope. (ocdomer.blogspot.com)

Four: College football and movies...a topic that could extend forever. (sportingnews.com)

Five: For the betting men (and women) out there - some odds for winning the 2009 MNC. (vegasinsider.com)

Out

No Daily ND Five until late today, if at all. I am off to Chicago for the day.

Daily ND Five - July 17, 2008

The "I'll stop doing articles about the new AD soon but not today" edition.

One: The official ND release, with links to video and quotes. (und.com)

Two: Yet another view on Jack Swarbrick. (bluegraysky.blogspot.com)

Three: Five questions with Charlie Weis. (ndtoday.alumni.nd.edu)

Four: Aaron Nagel has officially transferred to Northwestern. (etruth.com)

Five: Notre Dame's (hopefully) improved O-line ranks as a winner in someone's book.

Daily ND Five - July 16, 2008

The "internet was down at my hotel yesterday" edition (which would, of course, happen on the day that everyone finds out we're getting a new Athletic Director):

One: The actual announcement of the new AD will come at 12:30 Eastern (und.com), but everyone knows that it is Jack Swarbrick. (chicagosports.com)

Two: As always, great stuff on Swarbrick from The Blue-Gray Sky. (bluegraysky.blogspot.com)

Three: Advice to Swarbrick for the first 100 days. (ndnation.com)

Four: Other news? Really? How about a list of Notre Dame's top ten athletes. (und.com)

Five: A short piece on Chris Watt. (chicagosports.com)

Daily ND Five - July 14, 2008

The "I should be at work right now" edition.

One: I will try not to get excited about a Miami game, but that's asking a lot of me. (uhnd.com)

Two: On to Opponent #1, San Diego State, where former coaches allegedly drink before games (and not just Communion wine!). (thewizardofodds.blogspot.com)

Three: A list of the Top 25 teams of the 1980s. (sportingnews.com)

Four: Replacing Darrin Walls for the year. (sportingnews.com)

Five: Jimmy Clausen and Dayne Crist should be giving thanks for more help along the O-Line. (bluegraysky.blogspot.com)

Random Hotness

This was forwarded to me via email with the subject "This is why the internet exists." Indeed, it is why the internet exists.

On the other hand, the internet might exist to give Ted Nugent a voice. I will spend great amounts of today wondering why Ted Nugent is not going to host a candidate debate.

Daily ND Five - July 13, 2008

When does football season start so that there is something to read on Sundays? Bleh. I'm raiding YouTube today. And not for the last time, I am sure. Today, I'm going with commercials.

One: What did Joe Montana ever end up doing after college?



Two: No pressure on the kid to go to Notre Dame.



Three: I'll have to get a new job to ever afford the jet for airport tailgating.



Four: Painting the helmets.



Five: A perfect look at my life as an overseas sports fan.

Daily ND Five - July 12, 2008

Ah, Saturday. A good day during the summer, a better day come fall.

One: A leading candidate is out for the AD job. (dallasnews.com)

Two: One take on why Orsini is out of the running. (therockreport.blogspot.com)

Three: Darrin Walls is out of school for the fall semester. (southbendtribune.com)

Four: D.J. Hord is transferring. (bluegraysky.blogspot.com)

Five: A short video on Chinedum Ndukwe. (ndfootballwiki.blogspot.com)

Non-Preview Preview - San Diego State

The obligatory blog preview of the upcoming season, Sarah-style (i.e., the style for someone too lazy to preview teams properly).

Player Name Least Likely to Scare People: Doug Deakin. Different spelling, but the idea is there – a deacon is not going to scare anyone (even if you add ‘demon’ to the front. Take that, Wake Forest!).

Obligatory Song for the Tailgate Mix: Anytime you have a team from California, there are a large number of possible songs. But then, thinking back to my childhood, an obvious choice came to mind. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Rockapella’s greatest hit, Where in the World Is Carmen San Diego:

Sport San Diego State Sucked At Last Year: Women’s cross country, I’m looking at you and your 32-87 overall record (all while ignoring a certain football team’s lower winning percentage – yay denial!). However, the cross country team does get bonus points for Volunteer Assistant Coach Richard Fox, who is both a volunteer coach and a patrol officer with the San Diego Police Department.

If You Come Here, You Can Major In: Gerontology! Per the San Diego State Course Catalog:

Gerontological training and research is an important link in meeting the social, physical, and psychological needs of the elderly. Students of gerontology benefit through the personal understanding of their own aging process.

I hate to break it to the gerontology majors, but given a few years out of college, and they will discover the aging process through personal experience, starting with a liver that no longer works as well when given copious amounts of alcohol.

Neighbor of Mine San Diego State Most Resembles: The really nice girl who introduced herself the first day or two that I moved in. That was nice of her, and when I first lived here, I thought it was really great that there was someone who seemed cool here. I imagined that we would watch Sex and the City and gossip about the boys we were dating and go out for Fajita-Rita Mondays at Chili’s. Then I totally forgot about her. Really, I don’t even know if she still lives here.

Similarly, San Diego State is that school right away on the schedule that ND fans will convince themselves is cooler than they really are. We’re going to go through summer – especially those last few football crazed weeks – slightly obsessed with San Diego State, even though nothing ever comes of the relationship, except that one initial meeting.

Random Conclusion Unrelated to the Game Itself: The Notre Dame Fighting Doberman Pinscher Genitalias say, "Stay classy, San Diego":

Daily ND Five - July 11, 2008

The end-of-the-week Daily ND Five, mostly from the last few days that I missed:

One: TAH-NOO-TAH BLITZ! Behind the scenes of the ND defense. (edsbs.com)

Two: An unscientific look at the results of the ticket lottery. (bluegraysky.blogspot.com)

Three: David Bruton has been named to the Jim Thorpe Award watch list. (und.com)

Four: A pre-season look at the Irish. (foxsports.com)

Five: Too early for bowl predictions? Never! (espn.com)

Back!

Just got in the door from a trip to KC for some baseball - I will have posts (yes, multiple) later today.

Daily ND Five - July 8, 2008

A quick five, as I need to get out and on the road this morning to go see my White Sox in Kansas City.

One: Lottery results are up! (nd.com)

Two: Pollard is Irish! (South Bend Tribune)

Three: There were 2007 highlights? (irishroundtable.com)

Four: Info on some of the incoming Irish freshmen. (cfb360.com)

Five: Number six on the 10 most disliked college football programs of the past twenty-five years? Notre Dame. Number one? Miami. (thebleacherreport.com)

Daily ND Five - July 7, 2008

A thought for today - in less than two months, ND will hopefully be one win into the season. Now, on to the five!

One: Must wins, arrest records, and the Montana/Golic connection – it’s a Notre Dame potpourri! (blueandgold.com)

Two: In case you missed it, Maurice Crum, Jr. is on the Bednarik Award watch list . . . (und.com)

Three: . . . and Jimmy Clausen is on the Maxwell Award watch list. (und.com)

Four: A San Diego State preview. (charliesnasties.blogspot.com)

Five: On tap – an easier schedule for 2008 than 2007. (ocdomer.blogspot.com)

Daily ND Five - July 6, 2008

As it is a slow, slow, slow day on the internet, I'm checking out the wonderful Sports Illustrated Vault for a few classics (don't think this will be the last time I hit up that source):

One: The beginning of the Charlie Weis era.

Two: The beginning of the Lou Holtz era.

Three: Some love for Ara.

Four: Some love for Tim Brown.

Five: The joy (or sorrow) of being a Notre Dame fan overseas - having lived in Asia twice, I know a great deal about the lengths one will go to just to watch or listen to a game.

Daily ND Five - July 5, 2008

One: Without the late Senator Jesse Helms, ND might not have had Lou.

Two: A couple days old. It probably would have been sacrilegious to choose My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don't Love Jesus, but after the horror that was last season, it seems appropriate. I mean, really, the hangover from last year isn't going to keep me from drinking the Kool-Aid again this year (hopefully with different results).

Three: A little more love for Subway Domer and Wu-Tang.

Four: A little love for Jeff Samardzija (and some hope for him being traded from the Nothing Lovable About Losers).

Five: Checking in with Chinedum.

One Word Review: The Fountainhead

The Book:

The Fountainhead

By Ayn Rand

The One Word Review:

Superlative.

50 Word Review: Boone

The Book:

Boone: A Biography

By Robert Morgan

The 50 Word Review:

A very good overview of the life of Daniel Boone. Helps put Boone in the context of everything going on elsewhere in the United States while Boone opens up the U.S. to westward expansion.

50 Word Review: Such a Pretty Fat or Why Pie Is Not the Answer

The Book:

Such a Pretty Fat or Why Pie Is Not the Answer

By Jen Lancaster

The 50 Word Review:

I am not sure why I like a book that makes me want to go out and exercise, but I do. Perhaps because it also contains such lines as "I'm not lazy. I'm simply judicious about excess movement."

Horsies and Feetsies

Last Friday, there was a prescient article about the breeding of horses for racing in the Wall Street Journal:

Like hemophilia in the Russian royal family, Native Dancer's line has a tragic flaw. Thanks in part to heavily muscled legs and a violent, herky-jerky running style, Native Dancer and his descendants have had trouble with their feet. Injuries have cut short the careers of several of his most famous kin, most notably Barbaro, a great-great-great-grandson who was injured during the Preakness Stakes and was later put to death.

I haven't seen the article (or its timely publishing) mentioned anywhere else, so I thought I would.

Don't Touch the Monkeys

A quick travel story - this one comes from study abroad in China (Fall 2000). I mostly took it from a post I had written over at White Sox Interactive several years ago, but it is informative (and amusing, if you like hearing about me being beaten by old Chinese women and monkeys).

I was hiking on a mountain in Xichuan province with a couple of friends. Now, I was really looking forward to this hike, because we were going to see wild monkeys, and I had never seen wild monkeys. I know, you would think someone from Wisconsin would see them everyday, but no.

So, we get to the portion of the trail where the wild monkeys are supposed to be, and there are all of these signs telling us to put our food away, but no monkeys. Now the chances of me climbing a mountain without a Coke in hand are approximately 0%, so I do not heed the signs telling me to put it away.*

With no monkeys in sight, we keep climbing the trail in search of the monkeys. Shortly, we turn a corner, and there are probably 100 people milling about, feeding a pack/horde/gaggle of large, wild monkeys. The monkeys (and people) are everywhere. Of course, like the fool I am, I just run on up to the first monkey I see, overly excited to see the monkeys.

This monkey immediately grabs my unfinished Coke from my hand and scampers up a nearby tree. I am evidently very upset by this, as several Chinese tourists come and gather around me to watch me, the foreigner, getting extremely agitated over a dime's worth of Coke (there was yelling and wild gesturing involved). My agitation does not disturb the monkey, who promptly opens the bottle of Coke and takes a swig.

Eventually, having no way to get my Coke back (and really, did I want a Coke that a monkey had been drinking out of?), I move to plan B - touch a monkey!

Now, I knew these monkeys were wild animals, but I had never seen wild animals come up to people like this - the only wild animals I had seen who were this tame always allowed themselves to be touched (what can I say, before this my only experience feeding wild animals came with deer). It was quite exciting.

As an American abroad, I decide that the best idea here is to disobey the many signs I had seen coming up the mountain, and feed one of these monkeys. I grab a cracker out of my backpack and hold it out for a very large, male monkey nearby the monkey who is happily sipping my Coke.

This new monkey grabs the cracker and sits down right in front of me - perfect! I reach out an arm and touch him. My fingers had barely glanced his hair when the monkey goes crazy, beating on my legs. I jump up, and the monkey continues hitting my legs with his monkey fists. And it hurts! Finally, the monkey tires of beating me up, and goes to beg other people for more crackers.**

My friends, who have witnessed both of these incidents, are laughing hysterically. However, the group of Chinese tourists around us are not so amused. All of the old women in the group (a surprising number, considering we were climbing a mountain) come up to me, tell me not to touch the monkeys, and give me a slap to the shoulder to drive the point home.

Later on the trail, we saw signs telling us not to touch the monkeys, because they bite. There was even a monkey bite first-aid station. So, evidently, I was not the first foreigner to think that the monkeys wanted me to pet them.

The moral? Don't touch the monkeys.

*The best option for a hike? Nope. Do I care? Nope.

** Like I was going to give a monkey who beat me up any more crackers. Stupid monkey.

Cougars = Scary

As you may or may not know, police in the city of Chicago killed a cougar last week. Yes, inside the city limits of Chicago. In someone's alley. Probably an alley where cute little kids lived. And cute puppies. And cute kitties. Who could have been playing outside at the time and gotten all eaten up.*

Supposedly, this cougar walked from South Dakota to Chicago. Which means that, on its way to the alley where it met its death, the cougar passed right through my backyard! I have included a helpful map for those of you who are not geographically inclined, to illustrate that the cougar came through Madison on its way to Chicago:

As further proof of this visit to my fine home, I have certain pictures of the cougar in Madison that prove that this (now dead) cougar stopped by on his way to Chicago:



As you can clearly see, while he was here in Madison, the cougar decided to stop for pictures at the Capitol, followed by drinks down at the Union. Or perhaps a trip on a sailboat. The picture doesn't make his intentions at the Union entirely clear.

P.S. - Dorkiest. Post. Ever.

P.P.S. - Or at least for today. I hope.

*I enjoy that the picture accompanying the article includes a nearby moped and gas can. Although I am not sure what the purpose of including these items in the picture was, I will guess that it was to imply that the cougar was about to steal both the moped and the (more valuable) gas, thus giving police another reason to kill him. You know, something other than the fact that he was a cougar in a densely populated urban area.

A Letter

So, a bit ago, someone stole about 40 CDs out of my car. As I have been unable to find this person and give him a stern talking-to in person, I thought I would use the powers of the internet to let him know how I feel about his theft.

*****************************

Dear Person Who Stole the CDs Out of My Car:

Hi. My name is Sarah. You don't know me, but perhaps you remember my car - the black Saturn in a downtown Madison office building? With the Wisconsin plates? With the George Bush sticker on the back? And the Notre Dame and Northwestern stickers in the window? That would be my car. Evidently, you felt the need to break into it, so I am guessing you might be familiar with the car.

Now, I know that when you cased the parking lot, the outward signs of the car probably implied that there might be something of value in it. I mean, really, if I were to choose a car, my first thought would be that my Saturn, which clearly states "A Republican lawyer owns this car!" is a better choice to steal something from than the Prius down the row, most likely owned by a hippie holdover who is probably carrying around nothing but hemp bags of items to be recycled.

However, my second thought would be, "Those stickers in the back? The ones that clearly state the owner's alma maters? Those indicate that the owner of this car has a great deal of student debt, and therefore nothing of value will be in this car. Also, the fact that this lawyer is driving a 2002 Saturn? This further indicates that there is nothing of value in this car. I think, perhaps, I should go grab those recyclables, as I will both gain something of value, and help the Earth while I am at it! Also, the likelihood of getting shot by the owner of a Prius is probably less likely than by the owner of this Saturn, who, based on the stickers on this car, is likely a member of the NRA."

Obviously, you never got to my second thought, as you chose to ignore the Prius in favor of stealing from my Saturn.

Now, I know that in the first paragraph I may have implied that you broke into my car. My own history of less-than-stellar following of security measures, and the lack of any broken windows in the car implies that I *might* have left it unlocked. However, I am going to remind you that stealing, even from a car that is unlocked, is wrong. You know, the opposite of right. As in, this was such a biggie rule that God Himself felt the need to let Moses know about it. You know, that whole, "You shall not steal" thing (see Deuteronomy 5:19, if you are in need of a refresher on this particular Commandment. While you're looking up that one, perhaps you should take a look at the rest of the Commandments. Or, if you're feeling particularly ambitious, the whole Book).

I will let you know that this is not the first time someone has felt the need to steal something from me. However, I am going to take special comfort in this particular theft, as the sole thing you appear to have wanted to steal from me was the stellar collection of mix CDs that I have accumulated over the last two or three years. Yes, that's right, you did not get a single CD that I have not downloaded from iTunes. In case you're wondering, this means that nothing you stole from me has any actual resale value. So, while I had to spend several hours of my life fooling around on iTunes and reburning these mix CDs, your theft was more of an inconvenience for me than anything else. I am only partially employed at the moment, so I have plenty of time to do this. And, truth be told, I rather enjoyed this whole process. I mean, the part after I had to get through the twenty minute ride home without my CDs.

Seeing as how you seem to have had no desire to steal anything but my mix CDs, this tells me that, even though you are lacking in the ability to tell right from wrong, you have excellent musical taste. I had no idea that there was someone else who wanted three Bryan Adams CDs! And I know you're going to love my "17 Reasons Not to Get Drunk and Download Songs on iTunes" mix - 70s Southern rock forever! I think you'll especially enjoy the four Spice Girls songs I felt belonged on my "Girlie Pop Songs" CD, not to mention the Geri Halliwell song that also seemed like it belonged perfectly on that particular mix CD. Really, how can you not love remakes of "It's Raining Men?"

Also, I am happy to see that there were certain items in the car that you felt were not worth stealing. For example, the $20 that I had stashed in the nifty door storage on the driver's side? Thanks for leaving that. I had found it on the ground, and kept forgetting to put it in the collection basket at church. My church thanks you, because your little theft reminded me that it was there. If you're in need of a Bible to look up that pesky Commandment thing we talked about earlier, I am sure they would be more than happy to help you look it up.

And the six pairs of shoes in the backseat? I don't know where I would find another perfect pair of purple polka dot shoes. Or, for that matter, the $350+ I would need to replace those six pairs of shoes even if I could find proper replacements. No, they aren't premier designer shoes, but I didn't get them at Payless, either. I am pretty sure someone would have bought them off of you on eBay for a nice amount.

But mostly, I'm quite happy you didn't see fit to look in the glove compartment of the car. As you may recall from earlier in this letter, I occasionally let security slide. Which explains why, at the time you saw fit to steal my mix CDs, the extra set of keys to my car was approximately two feet away from where the CDs were sitting, lying on the top of my maps and manuals in the unlocked glove compartment. So thank you for having more interest in my worthless mix of Jimmy Buffett songs than, you know, my actual car.

Sincerely,

Sarah

P.S. - The extra keys are now safely tucked away somewhere other than my car. I have, however, burned new Bryan Adams CDs, which are sitting on the front seat. In case you have already worn out the three that you stole and are in need of new ones.

A Day In The Life

So, I thought today would be a good day to chronicle my supremely interesting, more or less unemployed lifestyle. Because, obviously, that’s something that people want to read about.

8:00 – I wake up, and give myself total props for being up at a normal hour.*

8:02 – I turn on sports talk radio, and am disappointed that all I get are basketball and hockey stories. Does anyone else realize that there were at least eight spring games this weekend that I can think of off the top of my head? Including that of Notre Dame? Not to mention that it’s baseball season? And my White Sox are in first place? Any story involving either college football or baseball would have been infinitely better than hearing about the NBA playoffs, which will end approximately three games into the college football season.

8:30 – Sufficiently ready to commence my job search (read: have my makeup on), I go online and find nothing at my typical places where I look for jobs. Check my email and my dad’s blog (which you should check out, too, while we are on the subject). I read several (read: approximately 25) different accounts of the Notre Dame spring game, which I attended, so it’s a somewhat pointless exercise, as I am perfectly capable of telling you that I am still mad about Jimmy Clausen taking a knee at the end of the game.**

9:15 – I decide that clothing is an important part of my day, and spend the better part of the next fifteen minutes deciding that the first dress I picked out of my closet is the one that I want to wear. I consider putting the other ten dresses I have picked out back in the closet, but then think better of that idea.

9:30 – I start unpacking the car from my weekend at Notre Dame. After getting everything out that might possibly go bad over the course of the day, I end that exercise prematurely and realize that I have more important things to do, like go to my parents’ house and read (for anyone who cares, I started In a Sunburned Country, by Bill Bryson, last night. The fact that I actually stopped reading to go to sleep is a bit of a remarkable fact, because, so far? The book is awesome. I reserve my right to change my mind if it suddenly turns into a lecture).

10:00 – I head to my parents’ house, where I plan to enjoy the 70+ degree weather on the deck with my book. And yes, this is my entire plan for the day. I arrive to find their four cats acting as if they haven’t eaten in days. When I get to their food dishes, I see that there is still food in them from when I fed them last night.

10:15 – I get settled and down to the important business of the day. Which is, of course, reading, punctuated by random intervals where I stare of into space for minutes on end, thinking about such important topics as, “If I were to win the lottery, would I choose to remain anonymous?” and “What color shoes don’t I own?”

12:30 – Realizing that my parents’ cats are all on their heating pad and it is 70 degrees outside, I unplug the heating pad. That’s just wrong. They need to enjoy this beautiful weather.

12:40 – The cats are giving me sad looks (or so I think) because their heating pad is no longer toasty warm. I plug the heating pad back in, and they go back to lounging in happiness. Because, obviously, if it’s 70 degrees outside and you’re wearing a fur coat, it’s important to have a heating pad so you don’t freeze to death or anything.

12:50 – I note that I haven’t eaten yet today. I consider remedying the situation by driving into town to go to Taco Bell ($2.82 for three tacos? I am so there), but that’s ten minutes from here and requires me to, you know, get in the car and do something, so I make some soup. Because, obviously, if it’s 70 degrees outside and you want something to eat, chicken noodle soup is definitely the best choice. Evidently, the cats are influencing me.

1:00 – I watch the cats for a few minutes as I eat lunch (I have some trouble with the whole eating and reading thing. I love to do it, but it usually ends with me wearing more food than I get in my mouth. Not a fashion statement I am keen on making, as a general rule).

1:15 – The cats are supremely uninteresting. Really, when a robin lands approximately three feet in front of you and you are too lazy to even make a half-hearted attempt at catching it and eating it (and thereby giving me a story to tell to my parents later today via email), you are officially boring.*** And, oh yes, I just insulted cats.

1:30 – Read on the front porch.

1:45 – Fall asleep reading.

2:30 – Wake up from my unintentional nap, happy that I didn’t manage to drool all over myself. Go back to reading.

4:00 – I decide that I should write a blog post about the day that I am having. Because, you know, so many interesting things have happened to me today that I should put this out there on the internet for other people to see and be left for all eternity.

4:01 – I remember that the internet is working only intermittently at my parents’ house, and have been too lazy to do anything about it, like figure out the problem and fix it (which will probably only require me to turn the modem on and off, but um, yeah, the modem is all the way upstairs, and I am not, so I can wait until I go home to read the Drudge Report). But, Miss Prepared that I am, I realize I have a jump drive in my bag and I can just write the post and go back to the book, then post later. Because it has definitely been worth your time to read all of this. That’s right, two minutes of your life you can never get back.

*Yes, I realize that when I was working regularly, the idea of waking up at 8:00 a.m. would have been a wonderful (yet almost incomprehensible) idea. But really? I love that I haven’t seen a sunrise in several months. I was getting sick and tired of those things by the end of last summer. Sunrises? Overrated. Particularly when you’re already at your desk for the day. Sunsets? Particularly with a lake, boat, and margarita involved? Totally underrated.

**However, without these stirring accounts of the game, would I have realized that Jimmy Clausen is going bald? Most definitely not.

***Any snickering about how this parallels my own life is probably (read: definitely) deserved at this point.

50 Word Review: In a Sunburned Country

The Book:

In a Sunburned Country

By Bill Bryson

The 50 Word Review:

Unlike the last Bryson book I read, this latest book of his that I read was quite funny. Now, I want to go to Australia even more than before (which would be easier if, say, I had any money).

50 Word Review: Bright Lights, Big Ass

The Book:

Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why It Often Sucks in the City, or Who Are These Idiots and Why Do They All Live Next Door to Me?

By Jen Lancaster

The Review:

See my review of Bitter Is The New Black. Oh yes, I am that lazy.

50 Word Review: The Founding Fish

The Book:

The Founding Fish

By John McPhee

The Review:

For a book found in the history aisle, with a title implying that it will contain a great amount of history, this book contains very little history - or anything worth reading, for that matter. As an added bonus (that's some sarcasm for you), there is a last chapter lecture!

Good Things in Baseball

It's wonderful to look at the AL East and see that the three leading teams are the Orioles, Blue Jays and Rays.

Gotta love early season baseball (and hope that it lasts for the rest of the season).